Christian Counseling in Spokane, Washington
Counseling for Individuals, Couples and Families
Assertive Communication Skills
"I" Message Format
Resources for Clear Communication
| Non-Blameful Description of | Simple Formula |
Instructions |
| The Situation | When _____________ | Briefly describe the situation without judgment, blame or attack; for example: When the dirty dishes are left in the den. |
| My Emotion(s) | I feel ______________ | Use only one word to describe your emotion in that situation: glad, mad, sad, scared, etc.; for example: When the dirty dishes are left in the den, I feel angry. |
| My Reason(s) | because ______________ | Briefly describe your reason for feeling that way in that situation; for example: When the dirty dishes are left in the den, I feel angry because the room was clean when I left. |
| My Vision | I'd like ______________ | Picture how good the future would look if the gap got closed between what is (the problem) and what is wanted (the goal), then vividly describe what you want: I'd like to come home to a clean house, be free to converse with you and get close to you. |
| My Request | Will you _____________? | Ask for the first step toward making your vision come true: Will you please pick up your dishes when you finish with them? |
Read about the Four Levels of Communication.
