Christian Counseling in Spokane, Washington
Counseling for Individuals, Couples and Families

(vine graphic) Marital Frustrations: A Sample Worksheet (vine graphic)

1. Write Frustrating Event

What you do that frustrates me is…

2. Write Feeling Response

And then I feel…

(spacer) What Actually Happened


You Came Home Late

Step 2:
(spacer) Emotions - Feelings


Scared
Angry

 

Step 3:

4. Write Hidden Fear

To hide my fear of…

 

3. Write Behavioral Response

And what I do is…

(spacer) Fear Your Response Hides
 

That you’re dead.
I'll be alone.

Step 4:
(spacer) What You Actually Do
 

Pace, Scream
Throw Things

Step 5:

5. Write Hidden Desires

My desires from you are…

 

 
(spacer) Desires
 

I would like you
to be on time.

 

6. Write Change Requests

To obtain my desires, I would like to request from you…

Next step: Next step: Next step:
(spacer)

A. Behavior Change Request

If you're going to be more than 15 minutes late, call me ½ hour before you're due & tell me 75% of the time.

(spacer)

B. Behavior Change Request

Surprise me and come home early 10% of the time.

(spacer)

C. Behavior Change Request

If you're late & don't call, listen to me when I'm using an "I Message."

Ready to try it yourself? Fill out the Marital Frustrations Worksheet.