Christian Counseling in Spokane, Washington
Counseling for Individuals, Couples and Families

(vine graphic) Help with Pornography (vine graphic)

Definitions and Assumptions

Pornography Facts:
  • 1987 Study:
    men who batter women view more pornography.

  • 2/3 of teens seeing porn wanted to try out some of what they witnessed.

  • 1993 Study: pornography elicits aggressive behavior in youth and negatively affects male attitudes toward women.

  • 91% of teens have seen hard-core pornography.

Pornography is material that is sexually explicit and intended for sexual arousal.

From counseling with families in my private practice, I have concluded pornography is harmful.

No study has yet conclusively proven a causal relationship between viewing pornography and deviant behavior. The fact that we cannot yet measure the influence of pornography does not mean there are no effects.

"For example," says Dr. Victor Cline, "all of the evidence linking drunk driving with high vehicular accident and fatality rates is correlational and anecdotal. However, despite this, nearly all of us would agree that there is probably a cause-effect relationship here. And many laws have been passed as well as public policy decisions made, based on this assumption."

He says, "Frequently, good judgment, correct inference and sound logic have to be used, along with proper scientific data analysis, to arrive at reasonable judgments about risk of harm."

We make daily decisions without final knowledge as to what we eat (data only suggests the lethality of carcinogens is correlated, not conclusive), and whether to expose ourselves and our children to pornographic materials.

Pornography production worldwide takes in about $56 billion annually and, in the US, about $14 billion. That gives the pornography a lot more funds than any church to prevent the consequences on families and healthy God-given sexuality.

Tips for Parents with Teens on the Internet

  • Check the browser history often.
  • Utilize software to limit access to sexual Web sites.
  • Make sure the computer is in a central location in the home, within sight of everyone.
  • Limit the hours your teen spends on the computer; give an allowance of time.
  • Take away Internet privileges if rules are violated.
  • Set a good example for responsible Internet use.

From Tasha Levert at LifeWay Christian

100,000 Porn Web sites 200 new cybersex sites created daily Plus email and chat rooms


It is estimated that 200,000 Americans are addicted to pornography on the Internet.
National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families


Porn accounts for 70% of the $1.4 billion Pay-per-view market
US News & World Report 3/27/02

Scripture and Pornography

While pornography is not specifically addressed in the Bible, the principle of viewing what is sexually arousing is:
Matthew 5:28 If a man looks on a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Psalm 101:3 I will set no unclean thing before my eyes.
Philippians 4:7-8 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

Proverbs 6:20-29

Proverbs 6:20-29 20My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 21Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. 22When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 23For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, 24keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. 25Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, 26for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. 27Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? 28Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? 29So is he who sleeps with another man's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.

Colossians 3:5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
Exodus 20:17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7

3It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body5 in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.


Tassels on Garments (What Would Jesus Do?)

Maybe we need reminders: The LORD said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'Throughout the generations to come you are to make tassels on the corners of your garments, with a blue cord on each tassel. You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the LORD, that you may obey them and not prostitute yourselves by going after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes. Then you will remember to obey all my commands and will be consecrated to your God. I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt to be your God. I am the LORD your God.'"

Maybe those WWJD bracelets or something serve to remind us who we are and prevent us going after lusts.

Biblical Warnings Against Lust

1 John 2:15-17
Romans 1:24-27
1 Peter 4:1-3
Ephesians 5:5
1 Timothy 1:10
Hebrews 13:4
Revelation 21:8
Revelation 22:15
James 1:13-16

When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown, gives Don't be deceived, brothers.

'Just looking'?

  • In the U.S., nearly 900 theaters show porn films and more than 15,000 adult bookstores and video stores offer porn material.

  • About 70% of porn magazines end up in the hands of minors.

  • About 1.2 million children annually are exploited in child pornography and prostitution.

Some would argue that looking at the naked human body is not evil, because God made it beautiful, and Adam and Eve were naked in the garden. However, that was before sin entered the picture. "The eye is the window of the soul," as the saying goes. What we look at does affect us spiritually - and can cause us to sin. David "SAW" the woman naked, before he got ideas to sin with her. Jesus said that if a man "looks at a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery with her already in his heart"; etc.

The sin takes place even before the action is executed. Scripture gives many examples of men being enticed by the sight of a woman. Shechem saw the woman before he raped her. David saw the woman bathing before he had sex with her. Judah saw the harlot before he had sex with her.


Yield Not to Temptation:
A Good Example

The Snare of Sensuality
Sexual purity begins with our eyes, then with our detachment from the "bait" so we can ask, What is best for all concerned?

Now Joseph was well-built and handsome and after a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he refused. "With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. Genesis 39:6-12

Being tempted is not a sin (even Jesus was tempted). But giving in to it, or even seeking it out, surely is sin.

Dr. Ray tells a sad story:

The first sexual addict I met was in a church I served in San Antonio. An elder came by; "Pastor, my daughter is married to a man who masturbates many times a day with porn, keeps a girlfriend at their house and has sex with both women several times each day."

His daughter had agreed to the mistress earlier in his addiction, when she was just physically and morally worn down. The elder was ashamed, his daughter was a wreck and her marriage was a disaster. We did an intervention and they tried a pastoral counselor but finally got divorced when he brought home an STD and the man was lost.

There are a lot more resources and helps available today but prevention is still a lot easier than overcoming such an addiction.


Men of Sorrows-from eXXit.org

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control.
Proverbs 25:28
Psalm 16:4 The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods.
  • Does pornography qualify as one of the "other gods" in your life?
  • How has pornography increased your sorrows? Your family's sorrows?

The prophet Isaiah foretold that Jesus would be a "man of sorrows" (Isaiah 53:3). Indeed, Jesus experienced unparalleled suffering before he died, but it wasn't the kind of sorrows the psalmist had in mind in Psalm 16:4 above. Jesus felt sorrow because his unswerving devotion to the Father earned the wrath of the religious and political leaders of his day. We experience sorrow for the opposite reason: We worship false gods - including pornography. It should come as no surprise when our misplaced devotion causes trouble. We're counting on degrading images to give us life, the very thing only the true God can do. Sorrow is the natural result. Men of sorrows, let's imitate the "man of sorrows."

Ways Wives Can Help Their Husbands

Here are a few things that your wife can do to encourage a strong, open relationship with you and help keep you pure:
  • Take some time to have an open, direct conversation about lust and pornography with your husband. Without condemnation, ask whether he is involved in either.
  • Review the types of movies and television shows that you view and eliminate those that might elicit temptation.
  • Pray for your husband and for his protection from this temptation.
  • Encourage your husband to meet regularly with a Godly friend or small group for accountability.
• Discuss the challenges
of visual temptations:
  1. Magazines or Billboards
  2. Network Television
  3. Satellite or Cable
  4. Dial-a-Porn
  5. Internet
  6. Video Games
  7. Music
  8. Fashion
  9. Pay-per-View in Motels
  10. Bookstores
  11. Strip Clubs
  12. Massage Parlors

There is hope

Lead us not into temptation.
May God make us protectors of children and their innocence.

I'm Ray Smith, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and ordained Presbyterian clergyman. I've been working with clients and leading seminars on pornography and sex addiction for years.

The pain and shame felt by those hooked by porn motivates me to find ways to help them overcome their compulsions and find a peace that passes understanding.

The information here may give you an idea to help yourself or a loved one.

If you'd like a free, confidential telephone consultation about sexual addiction and treatment options, then please call me at (509) 466-6632.


There is hope for you. I have been treating a Christian leader for years who has overcome his sexual addiction and is no longer acting out. He has found freedom, the ability to make choices that are best for him, his ministry and his family. He still gets tempted but he is managing his addition and he feels accountable, and free of old guilt.