In my psychotherapy practice, I've found that some clients return home and say to a loved one, "Dr. Smith says _________ (fill in the blank)."
The loved one might be defensive or not believe the client. The real issue is not what I said, how it was communicated, nor the response of the loved one, but that the client wanted to express an idea to a loved one. To avoid confusion or resentment which might distract from the idea the client wants to convey, I developed a process called "The Eye Witness Program."
The Eye Witness Program allows:
The Eye Witness Program works by the client inviting a loved one to a session, then the client observes silently, takes notes and is prepared the next session to talk with me about the loved one's perceptions. The Eye Witness is treated as a guest, not as a client.
During the Eye Witness session, the loved one teaches me more about my client. Clients can bring tape recorders. As a counselor, the loved one can help me understand how the client is viewed, the nature of their relationship and how they envision their future. The atmosphere is informal, social, informative and enjoyable.
My clients can use the following invitation to fill out and give to a loved one to become a partner in providing care for the client:
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Date: ____________ Dear ___________________________ You have this invitation because ________________________________ (name of client) would like you to come to one of our sessions. I would like to hear from you any insights and first-hand observations you may have. I will be consulting with you as an eye witness on my client since you have seen things I have not. Your collection of photos, writings, report cards, scrapbook or memorabilia might help us. Stores about events that shaped my client would also help. What you share with me will be kept confidential, but my client will be in the session. I will answer your questions providing they do not require me breaking the rights of confidentiality of my client. I look forward to your visit! Sincerely, |
The client and the eye witness can discuss feelings and issues that came up. Plans can be made for changes. All communication between the eye witness and the therapist is done in the presence of the client to avoid any misunderstandings.
Feel free to copy the invitation, share it with your loved ones and let them share it with their therapists.