Christian Counseling in Spokane, Washington
Counseling for Individuals, Couples and Families
What Forgiveness Is… and Is Not
Embracing Forgiveness
| Forgiveness is: | Forgiveness is not: |
| You forgive the other person for your own benefit. | When you do not forgive, it is to your own harm. |
| Focus on the future | Focus on the past |
| Concern for integrity, boundaries and justice | Condoning means that moral wrong and injustice do not matter |
| Loving concern for yourself and everyone else |
Pardoning means that the offender gets indulgences from the appropriate consequences of his choices |
| The reason to forgive is that it makes life easier | A poorer risk, weaker, judgmental, not for humans |
| Forgiveness is needed for unacceptable behavior | The other person isn't up nights or burning angrily |
| Knowing "why" is not important or helpful | Intentions seem like they matter |
| Liberating | Imprisoning |
| To forgive is to manifest the control we have in our lives |
To not is to demonstrate the control someone else has over us |
| I know it hurts when others don't forgive me | I want the other to hurt |
